It may seem like summer just ended, but the holiday season is fast approaching. This time of year can be warm and wonderful, with happy feelings of nostalgia and good times celebrating with family and friends. If you’ve recently lost a loved one, though, the holidays can be a tough time. Do you have a plan for coping?
One of the most important things you can do is to be proactive, making your own decisions about holiday celebrations and how you want to handle them.
- Decide which traditions to keep and which to lose. You may have always hosted Thanksgiving for your family, or put up elaborate Christmas decorations at your home, or you may have a tradition of attending certain events each year. This year may be a little bit different because you might not be interested in doing all of the things you traditionally enjoy. Some treasured traditions may be too painful in the wake of a loss. It might be time to ask someone else to assume hosting duties, scale back on your décor or attend only those events that give you a sense of peace and well-being. It’s completely your decision, so take some time to think about what’s most important to you.
- Don’t be afraid to turn down invitations. If it seems like it will be too painful to attend certain events, feel free to say no. The people in your life will understand that you’re having a hard time and can’t be as available for social events as you normally would be. On the other hand, make sure to consider each invitation without rejecting each one automatically: it’s important to maintain connections with your friends and family during this difficult time in your life.
- Have a plan in place so you can easily leave if it becomes too much. When you do attend events, don’t get stuck riding with someone who is planning to stay for the whole event. Whether you’re able to bring your own car or you have an alternative ride home, making a plan in advance to duck out if you need to.
- Take some time during the holidays to reflect and remember. You may want to find a memorial service to attend, visit a church and light a candle, or take some time by yourself to look through old photos and think about happy times you shared with your loved one. Whatever works for you is perfectly fine because taking that time of reflection can help you on your path toward healing.
- Be gentle on yourself. The pain following the death of someone important isn’t something you can just shake off- nor should you. Think about how you would care for someone you love who was experiencing the same kind of pain and be just as tender with yourself. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and spending time doing the things that make you happy.
Grief is a universal condition, and yet it’s unique to each person who experiences it. Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory understands how difficult this time can be. If you need grief support, we can provide you with resources that may be helpful. Call us at (253) 948-9895 for more information, or visit us online for grief and healing support.
You may have heard the term “advanced directive”, but you may be unclear about exactly what it is or who needs one. An advanced directive is a legal document that specifies your treatment preferences should you become incapacitated. Do you need one? It might not be a bad idea.
There are three categories of advanced directives:
- Living will: A living will is a legal document that details medical treatments you would or would not want to be used to keep you alive. It addresses whether you’d want to be resuscitated by CPR or electric shock, whether you’d want to be placed on a ventilator or have tube feeding, if you’d want to receive dialysis and if so how long, and if you’d want infections to be treated aggressively. A living will can also indicate whether you’d like palliative care to keep you comfortable and if you want to donate organs for transplantation or donate your body to science.
- Healthcare proxy: A healthcare proxy is a legal document designating a person who will have the right to request or refuse treatment for someone who is not capable of making or communicating decisions.
- Power of attorney: A power of attorney gives someone the authority to make decisions on your behalf. A general power of attorney applies to a broad range of actions, like managing financial transactions or applying for government benefits, while a medical power of attorney simply gives someone the authority to make medical treatment decisions for you if you’re not able to make them yourself. A power of attorney is typically canceled because it was revoked or expired, or because the person giving the authority loses mental competency. A durable power of attorney, however, continues to be in effect even in the event of mental incompetency. A medical power of attorney is always considered durable, while other types of power of attorney need specific legal language to be given that status.
Why do you need an advanced directive? You never know when something is going to happen. Even if you’re incapacitated, it’s important for you to have a say in your own medical care, and that’s what having an advanced directive accomplishes. Further, the advanced directive does not take any power from you during the time that you’re competent to make decisions; it just gives you power when you are not.
An advanced directive protects your interests and allows you to make your own decisions even when you’re incapacitated. In the same way, having a plan for a funeral protects your interests after you die, by making your wishes clear. When you preplan, you can designate details of your funeral, long before that funeral occurs. Not only does this prevent guesswork, saving your family from having to make decisions on your behalf, but it can also save your family some money because when you preplan you lock in today’s prices for a future need.
Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory can help you preplan. Request your free preplanning guide or call us at (253) 948-9895 for more information today.
Obituaries are typically serious. This makes sense because they’re meant to tell the story of a person’s life in the wake of that person’s passing. There’s a certain gravity inherent in that, so a straightforward, serious obituary is perfectly reasonable. However, if your loved one enjoyed humor and would have approved of you lightening the mood, you might consider having some fun with the obituary.
Consider these real-life examples of humorous obituaries:
- William “Freddie” McCullough, of Bloomingdale, Georgia: “The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reese’s Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order.” You can read the full obituary here, which includes references to his exploits, television heroes, and truth-telling capacity. For those who would just like to know how Freddie’s story ended: “Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.”
- Nevena Ann Topic, of Newburyport, Massachusetts: “Ann would like to let you know that her work here is done. She received a call, a sort of an offer you can’t refuse, for an appointment from which she will not be returning. This assignment comes with a huge sign-on bonus, a reunion with family and friends she has not seen in a long time. Job security is exactly 110 percent. Her new mission takes her to a wonderful place where she will be socializing, dancing, gardening and reading to her heart’s content. Music, laughter and love are guaranteed. Food is delicious, and you never gain an ounce. She left detailed instructions for her husband and children to celebrate her mission here, which has now been completed. Low adherence to this instruction will not be tolerated. We want to let her know that she did a great job and wish her a safe journey. We will remember her smile, her warmth, her energy, her love for life, family and friends, but also students, colleagues and clients, many of whom over time also became friends. She worked very hard all her life, up until the very end. She made a difference in the lives of many. We invite you to join us and celebrate together.”
- Harry Weathersby Stamps, of Long Beach, Mississippi: “Harry took fashion cues from no one. His signature every day look was all his: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sam’s on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.” This obituary was so well-received locally that it ended up being featured in an article in the UK’s Daily Mail.
If you’re responsible for writing a loved one’s obituary, you can decide how best to draft it to honor that person’s personality. Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory is happy to help you plan a funeral, and we’ll even help you decide how to write the obituary. You might also consider writing your own obituary, which can be found in our preplanning guide. Call us at (253) 948-9895 for more information or if you’d like help getting started.
You’ve probably heard about the virtues of preplanning. It’s a great way for older generations to organize their thoughts about their end of life arrangements, and to make their wishes known. You may have even encouraged some of your loved ones to take this kind of action. While you realize that preplanning is a good idea, have you ever considered doing it for yourself? If you’re young or middle-aged, is preplanning a good idea for you?
You’re never too young to preplan. It may be a long time before you need funeral arrangements or a final resting place, but that doesn’t mean you should delay making decisions about those things.
- Preplanning allows you to decide your final arrangements. Do you want a funeral with the body present, or a memorial at a later date? Do you want to be buried or cremated? Where would you like to be interred or memorialized? Deciding these logistics ahead of time is a good idea.
- Plan your own funeral service. This is not hard to do and can give you a great sense of comfort. Decide who you want to be involved in the service and the mood you want to convey. Do you want a traditional service, or are you more interested in a celebration of life? Preplanning also allows you to pick your own readings and songs, special services, and even mementos to be displayed at your service. It’s your funeral so you can make it anything you want it to be, and your wishes will be clear because you have put a plan in place.
- Preplanning allows you to relieve your family of some of the burden of making hard decisions after you’re gone. There are many questions that you can answer now so that your family doesn’t have to answer them later. When they’re already grieving your loss during a difficult time, it’s a gift to have those decisions already made so that they don’t have to wonder what you would have wanted.
- Preplanning can even save money, allowing you to lock in today’s prices for a future need. Funeral prices rise with inflation just like everything else, but you can protect your family from these rising costs by paying now and locking in the price. Even if you’re planning for a far-off need, it’s smart to go ahead and take care of it now, rather than leaving it for those you’ve left behind.
Here at Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory, we make it easy to preplan. We have an online preplanning form that lets you work on your plans at your leisure in a password-protected format that can be opened and saved as many times as you need. We also offer a free preplanning guide to help you get started. Of course, you can always call us to learn more from our caring and compassionate team, who are here to help you through this process. Call (253) 948-9895 for more information or start your preplanning.
If you’ve ever had to pay for a funeral, you know that working it into your budget can be a challenge. You’ve probably heard about people crowd-sourcing funerals when tragedy strikes and they’re unprepared. However, there are other ways to budget for a funeral.
Burial insurance is one way to make sure your funeral expenses are covered. Also known as pre-need, burial, or final expense insurance, this is a type of insurance that goes directly toward your final expenses. Some life insurance policies have burial insurance written into their coverage.
You can also preplan for your funeral, which can soften the financial blow by locking in today’s prices for a future need. Taking it a step further by pre-paying eliminates stress for your loved ones by ensuring your expenses will already be covered. If you don’t want to pre-pay, having a dedicated savings account specifically for your funeral expenses is a good way to make sure money is there when it’s needed.
You can also make it easier to budget for the funeral by reducing your costs.
- Educate yourself on what’s available so you’ll know what you want and what you can do without. Learn all your options because funeral prices can vary widely. Funeral ceremonies, caskets, cremation, headstones and all the other elements of a person’s final arrangements come in various levels and price points and can often be modified to meet your needs.
- Talk to your funeral director, being straightforward about your budget. Funeral directors know the ins and outs of funerals and can help guide you in planning the one that’s right for you.
- Simplify your funeral. If it’s not important to you to have an elaborate service, opt for a simple graveside service without all the bells and whistles. Consider a potluck gathering instead of a catered reception. Think outside the box and look for ways to make it meaningful but modest.
- Make sure you’re getting all the benefits you’re due. Honorably discharged veterans, for example, are entitled to many different veterans’ burial benefits, which may include a free burial plot in certain cemeteries, a burial allowance, a burial flag and a government headstone. Veterans are not the only ones who can qualify for assistance with funeral costs. Those who receive government assistance can also qualify, and there are non-profit organizations that can help in certain situations.
However, you plan to pay for your funeral, having a plan in place is the first important step in making sure your funeral goes the way you want. Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory has been helping people preplan for more than a century, and we’d love to help you. Call us at (253) 948-9895 for more information or request your free preplanning guide.
Death is inevitable for all of us, but it isn’t something most of us want to talk about. It can be uncomfortable to think of your own mortality and painful to remember the loss of someone dear to you. Discussing death can feel grim and may even be frightening. Not talking about death, though, can sometimes lead to misunderstandings about how people feel about their own death and what they really want.
A non-profit organization called Death over Dinner has come up with a simple plan to facilitate meaningful conversations about death. It’s exactly as it sounds: have dinner, discuss death. Visitors to their website can fill in a simple questionnaire, explaining why they want to have this kind of dinner, and a list of questions will be generated to help guide conversation. Since the organization was formed in 2013, there have been over 100,000 “death dinners” around the world. There’s even a book, written by the group’s founder, offering practical advice on how to have these important conversations.
Another group focused on getting people to talk about death is Dying Matters. A coalition of individuals and organizations in England and Wales, Dying Matters “aims to help people talk more openly about dying, death and bereavement, and to make plans for the end of life,” according to their website. Originally funded by the Department of Health, this coalition is working to change the way society views death and dying, encouraging open discussion and acceptance of death as a natural part of life. The hope is that more people will talk about their end-of-life wishes, including where they want to die and how they want their funeral to be.
Why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon of talking about death? Because it’s an important thing to discuss. When we embrace death as a part of life, talking about it openly and honestly, it helps us to build empathy and connect with other people in our lives. Demystifying death can help people cope better when death occurs in their lives. Perhaps most importantly, discussing death facilitates preplanning.
Preplanning is not just a smart thing to do, it’s a compassionate action. When you preplan you make your final wishes known, but you also prevent your family from experiencing undue stress during an already painful time. You take the guesswork out of your final arrangements by preplanning, and your family doesn’t have to answer difficult questions while they’re grieving your loss.
Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory has been supporting families in our community since 1915. When you’re ready to talk, we’re here to listen. When you’re ready to preplan, we can help with that, too. Call us at (253) 948-9895 for more information or request your free preplanning guide.
Technology has improved so rapidly over the past several years that it can be found in nearly every aspect of our lives. It’s not really a surprise that older people are online more than ever before.
Senior citizens are an impactful demographic in the United States, with a record million of them currently living here. That’s 15 percent of the population, and by 2050, people 65 and older will account for 22 percent of Americans. A recent study by the Pew Research Center had some interesting statistics about older adults and technology.
- 67% of adults age 65 and older are online. Among younger seniors, the numbers are even higher with 82% of those aged 65-69 on the internet. This is significant because when the Pew Research Center started tracking these numbers in 2000, only 14% of older adults were online.
- 73% of seniors who are online use social networking sites. That’s another significant jump, the social media presence of older adults had tripled between 2010 and 2014.
- Facebook is the social media platform of choice for most online baby boomers, with 57% of them using the site. However, the fastest growing demographic on Twitter is people older than 55.
Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory offers cutting-edge technology in our funeral services. Options like live-streaming and DVD memorials make it easy for the families we serve to connect with friends and family members who are far away. Additionally, we have a strong social media presence and invite you to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to learn more about us and gain useful information about our company and funerals in general. You can also call us at (253) 948-9895 and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Today, when everyone has a camera on their phone, pictures are being snapped constantly. Often, people are so busy trying to capture every moment that they actually miss out on experiencing those moments. At a funeral, it’s important to understand when and how pictures are appropriate.
Whether you’re grieving a loved one or just supporting someone you know who has suffered a loss, you might want to put the camera down and just be in the moment. A funeral is a place where people connect, share stories, and begin to heal. Focusing on interacting with others rather than documenting the event can make your time more meaningful. If you do decide to snap some shots, it’s good to follow a few rules of thumb.
- Refrain from taking photos without permission. Sensitivity is key, so make sure you have the support of the bereaved family before snapping any shots.
- Wait until after the service. Before and during the service, photography is not appropriate. A funeral service is a weighty event, even if it’s positive in tone. After the service, however, the mood is often lighter. As people interact, the event becomes less formal and that’s when it’s ok to take pictures.
- Don’t use flash. Whatever you’re doing at a funeral, your focus should be on supporting the family. Anything that causes a distraction is disrespectful, and that includes the flash on a camera.
- Be inconspicuous. Just as it’s important to avoid causing a distraction with flash photography, it’s good to blend in at a funeral. The emphasis should be on honoring the life of the person who has died. No one in attendance should be prominent in attracting attention. Rather, all who are there should be supporting each other with kindness and care.
- No smiling selfies. It’s not against the rules to smile at a funeral. Sharing memories of a well-loved person can often bring up pleasant feelings. However, a smiling selfie shows a lack of decorum.
- Never post any photos from the funeral on social media. This is disrespectful and shows a lack of empathy.
Photos are not necessarily a bad idea because it’s good to have a record of the day. A funeral can be a blur to those who have lost someone dear, and often it’s hard to remember who was there. Then, too, many funerals serve as family reunions, and photos taken together at those events can be very meaningful.
If you’re planning a funeral, you might want to consider hiring a photographer who specializes in funerals. A professional photographer can provide meaningful images from that important day and having a photographer in attendance makes it easier to tell people not to snap personal photos. A videographer goes beyond what a photographer can capture, and those videos can become treasured keepsakes for the bereaved family, containing not only images of the day, but also supportive messages from people in attendance.
At Mountain View Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory, we offer the services of a videographer. It’s just one of the ways we support grieving families, helping them to create funeral services that honor the lives of their loved ones and help them begin the healing process. For more information on all we have to offer, call us at (253) 948-9895.